Ubuntu is an ancient African concept, meaning "humanity to others", "I am what I am because of who we all are".
One day, I decided to try an "Ubuntu Experiment". I was on my way to work, in my normal introspective, mind- my- business, bus-riding, persona. Breathing in, I invoked the mantra "I am because we are". Breathing out....." We are because I am". It took only seconds for the truth to sink in. My heart began to warm up. I felt a sense of generalized kindness slowly seeping from the depth of my being. The warmth caressed my chest, messaged my neck, and slowly made its way to my face. Then the warmth flowed across the aisle, penetrating through the invisible film that contains my private life, but also acts as divider between me and the anonymous commute-mates. The tune "My Cup Runneth Over" played in my head. I smiled.
Looking at the familiar faces, I felt a connection towards them. Suddenly they were no longer passer-bys, mere backdrop against which I lived out my daily life. Ubuntu made me feel our kinship, brothers and sisters with the same desire to be happy, bonded by the same struggle through the ebbs and flow of life, navigating joy and sorrow the best way each knew how.
This delightful experience lasted no more than a few minutes. Then, like a rubber band stretched to its limit, my mind snapped back to its habitual state of introspective mind-chatter. My bus mates whom I felt so close to the moment ago, instantly zoomed out to the familiar distance. The invisible film dropped down to reclaim its place between “me” and “them”. I noticed that it required effort to hold my consciousness in "Ubuntu" . My mind seemed to want to settle back into its insular angst, where other strangers are kept at bay.
Upon further reflection, it occurred to me that even the very stage of insularity is in fact "Ubuntu" as well. I imagined if there were no “others” for me to "walk by" on the street, to "sit besides" in the bus, to "duck" as they swerve past me, to "glance at" with apprehension their multiple lip rings, or even to “cringe" by their approaching stench. My life would be surreal, cold, as if floating in dark space. No backdrop, no story, no one to connect to, unbearably lonely, the gestalt of the suicidal. Human are not meant to exist in separateness. "You are only a human through your relations to other humans". In other words, I am part of our story, and we part of mine.
On subsequent occasions, I practiced Ubuntu with people I knew. I find it much easier. The relationship, good or bad, is pre-existing, I do not have to imagine. When I invoked Ubuntu, I became more patient and less critical of my family members, and co-workers. Whenever I felt angry or annoyed on my Ubuntu Day, I tried to remind myself of the reality of interdependence. Our lives are intertwined. Ubuntu helps me sense our common humanity. For people I generally like, it really enhance our immediate connections. As for people I don't like, I admit it is an attitude shift in the making.
Want to know more about "Ubuntu"? Read Nelson Mandela, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Bill Clinton, and others spoke of "Ubuntu" in
